so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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