Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
