By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.