Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty