I think my vagina is haunted
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?