it was like his penis was on wheels.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before