Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
