How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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