I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
