Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
