My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize