He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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