obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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