I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
A bitchslap is in order.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize