you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
