id be glad to
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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