question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We named our party play list daddy issues
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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