I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
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I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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