I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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