Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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