ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize