Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.