Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!