My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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