Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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