We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
