I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
