What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
