In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
