I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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