I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sext me about skeletons
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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