I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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