Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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