Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
