so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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