I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
