You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
