Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
