IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You pole danced in your parka.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
