SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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