I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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