is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
