I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
