I love black thongs
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
