well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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