After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She bit a glass in half.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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