Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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