She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
