She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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