You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
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If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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