I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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