yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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