dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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