You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
