This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
