Nicole vs. Life
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Your penis caused this!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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