We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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