we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
