fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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