He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she told me i tasted like america
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
