apparently the secret to your success is patron
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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