listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
