just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
