i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
