They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
