I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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