Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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