ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
