Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He has the fingertips of a God
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