Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
