who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
