Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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